Help!
Please Help I need some advice-
I am having surgery on Wed of this week- only a few days away-
I didnt feel good this weekend- I am not sure if I have the flu or what-
And my surgeon will not do surgery if I am sick etc-
SO How do I know If I am ok to have surgery????????
Second- My HUsband is suppose to be my support person- He has gone to the seminar with me and then had to attend my first few appt - as well as took me for my biopsy testing-
Here we are a few days before surgery- and I have been ill all weekend and he doesnt seem like he will be SUPPORT material to me---
As for my parents they will be at the Hospital for support -
But I am talking about support Physicall and emotional- Someone to hold my hand and rub my back or arm or whatever SOmeone to tell me it will be OK someone to hold me upwhen I am down- (I guess you may get my point)
I really thought my husband would be that person but I really dont even want him at the hospital-because I know what I need and if he cant fullfill that I dont want him their-
What can I do at this point???
I need your help and support--
THanks
I am having surgery on Wed of this week- only a few days away-
I didnt feel good this weekend- I am not sure if I have the flu or what-
And my surgeon will not do surgery if I am sick etc-
SO How do I know If I am ok to have surgery????????
Second- My HUsband is suppose to be my support person- He has gone to the seminar with me and then had to attend my first few appt - as well as took me for my biopsy testing-
Here we are a few days before surgery- and I have been ill all weekend and he doesnt seem like he will be SUPPORT material to me---
As for my parents they will be at the Hospital for support -
But I am talking about support Physicall and emotional- Someone to hold my hand and rub my back or arm or whatever SOmeone to tell me it will be OK someone to hold me upwhen I am down- (I guess you may get my point)
I really thought my husband would be that person but I really dont even want him at the hospital-because I know what I need and if he cant fullfill that I dont want him their-
What can I do at this point???
I need your help and support--
THanks
Surgery will happen when it is supposed to. Callingyour WLS surgeon to let HIM decide with you if this is a cold or reason to postope for YOUR safety...
As for getting our needs met, all we can do is ask...Sometimes the fear of losing a loved one in this case could be kicking up all sorts of emotions. If you have a relationship where you can comunicate needs and discuss that shoudl not change after WLS...If you do not have it now well not much that will change probably. Support can come in many forms online, in person support groups, friends, family etc. Keep seeking and asking! Meditation, Journaling or Prayer if in your comfort zone as well can help soothe and comfort you!
It is normal to feel very vulnerable and needy now..so much anxiety can really keep us thinking and feeling all sorts of things.
Consider also the useof positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm
See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....I recommend you consider trying to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about
life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
Maybe use positive thinking such as:
"I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING" (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)
"MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT" (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)
"ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS" (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).
THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!
YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or long-term....
There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help! Hugs!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You are a warrior and worthy of this opportunity to change your life...Be well.
As for getting our needs met, all we can do is ask...Sometimes the fear of losing a loved one in this case could be kicking up all sorts of emotions. If you have a relationship where you can comunicate needs and discuss that shoudl not change after WLS...If you do not have it now well not much that will change probably. Support can come in many forms online, in person support groups, friends, family etc. Keep seeking and asking! Meditation, Journaling or Prayer if in your comfort zone as well can help soothe and comfort you!
It is normal to feel very vulnerable and needy now..so much anxiety can really keep us thinking and feeling all sorts of things.
Consider also the useof positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm
See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....I recommend you consider trying to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about
life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
Maybe use positive thinking such as:
"I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING" (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)
"MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT" (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)
"ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS" (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).
THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!
YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or long-term....
There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help! Hugs!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You are a warrior and worthy of this opportunity to change your life...Be well.
Take Care, 
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Thank you for your encourging words- I also try to think as postive as I can-
Although sometimes words just aren't enough- you may be right that I am feeling vulnerable
right now- I am scared of death and of all the complications-
As for my support I need all the support I can get- I am hoping that my husband comes through-If not I sure will be lost without him-
I feel a little better today- so I will see how i feel later- before I call the DR-
I just ate some lunch so I will see how I do with that- thanks
PLease keep me in your thoughts and prayers-
Although sometimes words just aren't enough- you may be right that I am feeling vulnerable
right now- I am scared of death and of all the complications-
As for my support I need all the support I can get- I am hoping that my husband comes through-If not I sure will be lost without him-
I feel a little better today- so I will see how i feel later- before I call the DR-
I just ate some lunch so I will see how I do with that- thanks
PLease keep me in your thoughts and prayers-
I have noticed that as my surgery date approaches I become more and more sensitive and "testy" nothing anybody does seems to be the right thing to me. Did you talk to your husband? Tell him that you are scared and really need him to be sensitive to your needs right now? I know that I am so nervous and scared but instead of being honest about that I have to pretend that everything is great and act all sorts of strong...and instead I pick out what is wrong with everyone else around me. Try to spend a few minutes being quiet with your thoughts and allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, I bet you will feel better. Everything will be ok. 
Mary
I agree with you that as my date gets closer I am getting more testy-
I just want everything to be done around the house and with the bills etc so I dont need to worry about things for a few days and no matter how ready I thought I was their is always one more thing to do-
I have explained that I need his support when I am sick and when i have surgery- He did say he was sorry- I am hoping to have some time tuesday night with him and the kids- as you mentioned maybe this will help- thanks
I just want everything to be done around the house and with the bills etc so I dont need to worry about things for a few days and no matter how ready I thought I was their is always one more thing to do-
I have explained that I need his support when I am sick and when i have surgery- He did say he was sorry- I am hoping to have some time tuesday night with him and the kids- as you mentioned maybe this will help- thanks
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